It's all about connection

Connection can mean many things to many people. In all cases it is essential to our health and wellbeing. This blog explores what we mean by connection and why we as humans need it.

Connection with other people

Image: [couple holding hands]

We need people around us in order to function effectively mentally and physically. Humans are social animals, and rely on having support, touch and interaction with others to be at our best in terms of health and wellbeing. We need others to bounce ideas of, feel supported by and share with to be at our peak. We were never meant to be 'lone wolves' but current society, geographical separation and 'busy-ness' has tended to move us more towards individualism and isolation.

What complicates this is that we need the RIGHT people around us. Many people can be around others and still feel lonely. In fact, maybe you have felt this yourself? If you aren't with the people that you connect with you can feel more alone than being on your own. I have certainly felt this at times in my life and have struggled to find people who I really connect with.

On a scientific level there are some connection factors that back this up:

Firstly, did you know that the saying 'on the same wavelength' has actually been shown to reflect what is happening on a brain level? We literally run on the same length of brain waves with people that we feel that instant connection with!

Secondly we get a great deal from touch - physical contact (hugs, handshakes etc.) literally releases feelings of calm and belonging in the form of oxytocin release. Your body feels safer with connection and touch.

We even think more effectively with others. You may have noticed that talking things through with someone (even if they don't say anything) can help you to make sense of your thoughts. The power of language is partly to do with the way that the brain sorts and organises things, making sense of the internal thoughts by their actual external expression. Being listened to (actively and with care) and feeling heard by someone has been shown to be the most effective aspect of talking therapies.

So how do we find the people that we need around us?

1. Be open to connections around you. Simply saying hello when you are out and about can make a huge difference to your day (and to that of others). You may realise that you have some connections nearby that you didn't realise you had.

2. Join a club or society based on your interests. You are likely to find others who feel the same way about some things when you base contact on something that you care about.

3. Join an exercise club or group. Connections can be even stronger when you also tap into the effect of endorphins from exercise when you interact with others.

4. Go to talks, places or events that you are interested in, even if you have to go alone. If you see someone alone strike up a conversation - shared interests can help to find a common topic to discuss.

5. Don't forget about the contacts and connections you already have! These can be hard to maintain with the busy lives we leave but arranging to meet up, or simply picking up the phone can keep the connection going, and your wellbeing tip top.

Connection in the body

Image: [connecting string bundle]

We often think of the body being made up of separate parts but it is actually all connected. The connective tissue (fascia) that we have throughout our body covers all of our tissues, organs and muscles, and forms the tendons and runs through and accross bones and joints. It is the tension and glue that holds our bones and muscles in place and helps to transmit force through the muscles and keeps us moving (it's a tensegrity system if you want some technical jargon!). The way that it works is not linear and can take time to ravel and unravel based on movement patterns, especially in a world where we hold a lot and move badly!

Not only that, it also holds space for a huge number of sensory receptors and passes motor (movement), pain, and emotional information through the body. This is why emotional pain and trauma can be 'held' in the body and cause physical symptoms.

The brain and body aren't separate entities either - they work together in a symbiotic way, with interaction between your movement systems, your gut and your emotional and mental state happening all the time.

This is why tension, pain and stress can all be interconnected and why the type of massage that I focus on involves not just the muscular system, but also the fascial system (which is actually more than one system but you can read more of my musings about fascia in previous blog posts here). Slow, mindful and intuitive massage that takes a holistic and while body and mind approach can release both physical and emotional tension. Not only that but it also releases oxytocin as it involves touch. What a magical thing massage is - not just a treat for a pamper, but something that can make us feel better emotionally and physically if done well.

What should you look for in a massage therapist?

1. A holistic approach - consideration of the whole body and any stress, trauma or emotional circumstances (this might not be covered in your first session as it can take time to feel safe enough to explore this).

2. A good level of qualification - Level 5 Sports massage or a range of different modalities suggests an interest in the whole person

3. A connection. It may sound a bit 'woo woo' but you need to be able to trust your massage therapist to be able to relax and release physically and mentally.

4. Someone who can work with you over time. Tension can build up over time and it can take more than one session to release the coils in the fascia and change patterns of movement.

I work holistically as a massage therapist and movement coach, taking an intuitive approach to find the best way to work with each client each session. I don't follow a routine, but work with what the body and person are telling me.

To find out more about how I work, or to book in click here.